February 7, 2011

mindfulness.

A few years ago I learned a technique for enjoying every moment of life. Some people take pictures so that years from that moment they can look upon that photograph and remember that vacation, having the proof that it actually happened. Some share the experience with others and reminisce about better times. As I go about my daily life at my desk, or not so normal days traipsing amongst islands in SE Asia, I take notice.

I notice all the colors entering my retina, all the smells around me, the way my skin feels, the sensations of touch. I drink it all in with a deep breath, understand that it just is, and move onto the next moment with the same fervor as the previous. I want to remember everything that makes up each moment of my life so I don't have to think back to "when life was good" because even though I may be just sitting at my desk watching movies, I want to be in THIS moment, RIGHT NOW, because it is the only thing that matters. Granted, I sometimes have to remind myself to stop thinking about the past or future and to just be, but turns out it just gets easier when you are not constantly stressed about what will happen. Life is truly amazing how it works itself out, whether we are worrying about it or not.

This was a predominant thought in my mind as I enjoyed my first paid vacation (!) to the Philippines. While sailing on a boat on a windy day, I noticed the waves and their uneven patterns and the black and green flip flops on our captain. While laying on the beach I paid attention to the sound of the ocean and each and every sand molecule stuck to my leg. Forever imprinted in my memory will be the way my newly betrothed's skin looked in the flicker of the candle and how his gaze took in each and every star in the southern sky. I wanted to remember how I felt, in a thousand senses of the word, at each and every moment and though I may not be able to explain it well, it doesn't matter. It is for me and that is enough.

I'll be honest, it is not practicing good mindfulness to be thinking about the warm sun on my pale skin and wishing I could go back, but its just so damn cold and gray in this city! I hope you are all enjoying every moment of your lives, no matter how good or bad it may, take a deep breath. And move onto the next.


el nido, palawan Pin It

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