Well here it is, Sunday afternoon, the sun is shining and its a beautiful day to be alive! But here I am, sitting with the shades drawn on the window (which is honestly pointless since no sun can get past the concrete building it faces) eating boxed mac and cheese and drinking a coke, watching the first season of the L word, which seriously has me contemplating switching teams (not really seriously, but its a damn good show) nursing what could be called a post traumatic stress induced hangover, while wearing a pair of left behind sweats that are far too big but still have the faint smell of his skin.
It doesn't make me proud to walk the barren 7 am Seoul streets, trying to make it back to my apartment after falling asleep on the subway and missing my stop. This alcohol fueled city has turned me into someone even my college self would not recognize. I have never had so many all nighters as this public transportation system has caused me to have in the last 9 months. You could say I am in a weird place in my life.
This weekend I suppose I have an excuse to go on an all night bender, drinking magkolli out of a bottle at 6 am and being a utter waste of a human being the next day (this really isn't a normal thing, just a more normal lately than normal kinda thing.) Eric is gone and I have coworkers and friends asking me constantly if I am lonely or if I "feel empty" Well now that you mention it... I do have to cook for only one now and I talk to myself about the day's events, thanks for bringing it up! I have never been one to base my existence solely on another person, but even the most callused hearts become attached and begin to depend on another person to feel whole.
Now don't take this as I am laying down and dying, one self wallowing weekend is enough for me. It is always healthy to have time to look back and ponder the meaning of life and those in it, but as they say, the show must go on and while half of my heart may be on the other side of the world, Asian wonders are beckoning me and I must answer. But before I step out that door...
One last moment to reminisce.
Disclaimer; if you have a weak stomach or a heart condition you may want to steer clear of this video, it is a little mushy gushy and is not intended to make anyone sick, it was made with love for only one person :)
Seoul misses you, hope you loved your time here! Can't wait for more adventures to share!